Oops, Wrong Timeline
by KaitanAtreides
Summary: An irregular Jikūkan ninjutsu, pulled off course bu the Kyūbi's influence, sends a child Naruto into another timestream / into the past. Pretty much on my way to covering all the time-travel bases. Namikaze Naruto is here to take the world by storm! Rated M 'cause some people don't watch their language. And dismemberment. Heheheh... Oops.


A/N: What happens when you use a certain irregular Jikūkan ninjutsu on a Jinchūriki? The two sources of chakra throw off the targeting and base point, and in this case, slip them through time as well as space, due to the influence of the yōkai in this situation. Several side effects also occur from leaving the timestream, including the addition of future experiences in this timeline as it partially collapses, which are remembered when in the other timestream. But if this jutsu has occurred once in the original (canon) timeline, the existence of another person (Jinchūriki) with a primary temporal chakra signature, they act as an anchor point to drag the next Jinchūriki to the same parallel timestream.

I realized Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance really isn't working as a story, so it's on hiatus for now, and school is starting soon so I won't be able to update like, ever.

Interestingly enough, I've noted that Time-Travel fics usually have Naruto going back to his younger days, or to his father's time, or to Senju & Uchiha -land. Or Minato coming forward in time. So, why is there no story with Minato going back in time to the Shodai's time or whenever the heck you'd call it? Challenge. Write it.

ō ū

Uzumaki Naruto, an orphan in Konohagakure no Sato, was having a good day. Today, Teuchi-jiji at the ramen stand had said it was his birthday and gave him a free bowl of ramen! Ah, ramen... The orange-clad boy stopped in the middle of the street, going slightly glassy-eyed at the thought of the noodles in their delicious salty broth... Mmm... Then he snapped out of it, shook his head several times, and continued on his way to his apartment. Never mind it was in the worst part of town, the landlord charged him six times what is supposed to be charged, and his neighbors were druggies and prostitutes. Some of the girls were pretty nice 'ttebayo, and he never would need some awkward teacher to give him the 'birds and the bees.' It did raise some stares when he called all the girls from the red light district by name, though.

But on this day was the Kyūbi festival, the day in which Naruto's life regularly came in danger, the day in which tensions and anger against the "demon brat" came to an all-time high, and it wasn't only civilians anymore. Even as he skipped home, he instinctively sensed something was off, and he broke into a run as the sky slowly darkened. He stumbled into his apartment, slamming the door behind him. He didn't lock it. That was his first mistake of the day. For his untamed, massive amount of raw chakra was easily detected by chūnin and jōnin level shinobi. Several bitter chūnin, drunk off their asses and remembering comrades lost to the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, decided to give the demon a little visit. One of their group, an erstwhile sensor, easily found the raw chakra running through Naruto's oversized coils.

"It's long past time someone took care of the Kyūbi brat."

"That monster has had free run of the village for too long."

"We will be heroes for ridding the village of this- this- fucking smear upon Yondaime-sama's legacy!"

"Which direction?"

"This way."

And so the cell of chūnin came into the apartment building that housed their precious Yondaime's only son, the last Namikaze.

The wooden door creaked open as Naruto was sitting at his pitiful table, little more than several planks put together with a small three-legged stool he had found in a dump sitting next to it. He was eating cup ramen, the only thing he could afford with the price-gouging performed by most if not all shopkeepers in Konoha, in direct violation of Namikaze Minato's last wish, to see his son treated as a hero. The men barged in, charging straight at the young boy, who fell off his stool with a crash as he scrambled backwards, wide-eyed. The three launched kunai and shuriken at him, landing in his shoulders, his crossed arms, his legs, and sticking deep. These were trained shinobi, after all. They mercilessly pummeled the boy, deliberately striking nonfatal blows, eventually crucifying him on the wall while they used him for target practice. As the boy screamed and struggled, they laughed and they broke his bones over and over again, only to be healed with a burst of yōkai.

This was too much for the boy to take. His whole body shuddered as he arched his back and screamed as malevolent red chakra seeped out of every pore. The feeling of terror, an aftereffect of the Kyūbi's presence, was felt throughout Konoha as everyone shuddered. Many shinobi suddenly shot up and looked towards the direction of Naruto's apartment. An ANBU fighting off a massive mixed crowd in front of the building looked over his shoulder, thinking Damn! I'm too late! Some got through!

One of the chūnin summarized the situation. "Oh shit."

"Hey, I recently learned an irregular Jikūkan technique that moves an object to a random point, the more chakra the farther away. Let's use it to get it out and run. If we're lucky he'll end up inside an object."

"DO IT BAKA!"

Rat, Hare, Monkey, Boar. With a last despairing scream the young Kyūbi Jinchūriki disappeared in a blue portal that opened up behind him, burning its imprint on the wall behind his former location. Grinning widely, the spiteful chūnin used the Shunshin no Jutsu to remove themselves from the scene of the crime. The ANBU in the dog mask at the steps swore loudly at the fading of Naruto's chakra signature before wiping out all the crowd with a Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu and hurrying upwards, swearing quite loudly .When he arrived in the now-empty room, he saw the remains of the Jikūkan technique, one he had copied long ago, and began swearing even more profusely. Hatake Kakashi, also known as Inu, fell to his knees and cried, sobbing out, "Sensei... Sensei I failed..."

Naruto was spinning, spinning, as he fell out of a portal into a slipspace dimension, away from his own timestream, when suddenly he felt an influx of memories similar to those produced by a shadow clone, even though he had never heard of them. Wait- he had? He was getting memories of what would have happened in his own timeline. Mizuki-teme! Kakashi-sensei! Hey, wasn't he the nice ANBU in the dog mask? Sasuke and Sakura-chan! Wave! Zabuzabuzabuzabu... He had a cool sword. Why did the girl-boy-ish-thing have to die? They were a nice person, and they taught him about his precious people! Chūnin Exams? Scary written test... scary, scary written test... Bwah! Where'd the snake guy and his hickey of death come from? Now Sasuke was beating up random people! Prelim matches, hahahahahaha I farted in Kiba's face! Poor Lee, that Gaara kid is scary. Damn you Neji! What did Hinata-chan do to you? Now I met some old pervert with a bunch of frogs. Oooohhh I can summon frogs too! Oh sorry, TOADS. I trashed Neji and Shika was lazy and Sasuke was fighting Gaara, who went crazy and turned into a giant raccoon 'cause he has no friends and snakey dude came back and – What? He killed Hokage-jiji? Darn you snakey man! Then I beat Gaara and now we're friends through my awesome Therapy Jutsu! This is so confusing...

But as Naruto's mind began to shut down due to the information overload from the collapsing timeline, the Fourth Hokage appeared in his mindscape. "Naruto! This is bad! Someone misused some Jikūkan Ninjutsu on you, and you're traveling into a different dimensiony thingy!" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh, and I'm your dad! Kyūbi and I are going away, so here!" He dropped a scroll in front of the cage where Kyūbi once was. "Hiraishin no Jutsu is in here. Anyway, Kyūbi won't be there anymore, but you'll keep the healing and ridiculous amounts of chakra. Okay?"

"You're my dad?"

"Yup, no time to explain! And your mom is the only Uzumaki in Konoha in my time. So have a nice day in some alternate dimension thingy! Bye!"

Then the eccentric badass Hokage faded into mist, as did a howling Kyūbi no Yōko.

Falling into another portal, Naruto's unconscious body fell heavily into a forest, bouncing once before coming to a halt.


End file.
